While at a leadership meeting tonight, we had a time to get away and ponder what might be keeping us away from true, life giving ministry and leadership. As I prayed and asked God to shine the light in my heart, many things flooded to mind.
It is interesting to me that many people want to be someone else. A few (not many mind you) have told me that they wish they could do what I’m doing – that they could essentially be me. If possible, I would let them live in my skin for a day. If they weren’t overwhelmed by the anxieties, insecurities and rampaging thoughts running amuck in the head, then they could get out of bed and begin living a day filled many trials and struggles. I know we all struggle, but for some reason, we always think life would be better if we could be in someone else’s shoes. But truth be known, we question God’s sovereignty and say He is not sufficient for us if we live in that fantasy land.
So I’m pondering what is keeping me from life giving leadership and ministry and the answer comes back again and again. It is not my anxiety or battles with periods of sadness. It is not my lack of gifts or lack of charisma. It is not many things. I have come to believe that it is simply not believing in what is already true – not trusting in the finished work of Christ.
It is simply Chad not being O.K. with all that makes up Chad. I shouldn’t need validation from anyone to know who I am – I am chosen of Christ and am now free to live in the reality of what is and who am I now – a new creation, a child of God, a saint, holy, beloved and adored. I have been given all I need and the rest of my life will be discovering more about this incredible gospel that has set me free to be what I was created to be – “me”. And this “me” was created to worship and enjoy God forever. It is not about what I can do for God but what He has done for me. From this rest flows the reality of my work – I work to know Him and He loves others through me. I work to rest in Him and He moves mountains and bears much fruit through me.
My life is liberated as I get caught up in something much more than the little kingdom I was trying to build. I now am about letting others know about this amazing Kingdom of God’s as He invites us to join Him in this wonderful journey of life. God’s muscles are infinitely bigger than mine and I must continue to learn to be O.K. with who I am and know that God is controlling my life.
So I sat and pondered and realized that the God of all creation knows my name and cares enough to remind me of this truth. May you be reminded of this truth today.
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