In 2002, my life fell apart. I had written my entire story and it was unfolding just how I imagined. Upon moving to Georgia to marry a young lady I’d been dating for 2 years and to begin a new ministry, all was ripped away. It was as if I arrived to some foreign land and was put into a prison of darkness. The young ladies heart was no longer for me though it once beat stronger than I could imagine. The traveling ministry that I had dreamed of just dwindled away as if God had simply blocked all invitations to go and speak about the things that I wasn’t experiencing anyway.
For years I had dreamed about being an oak of righteousness and being useful in ministry, but I had made an idol out of getting married and I had made an idol out of ministry as well. My identity was so wrapped up in those things that it was nearly a fatal blow to my heart. It was the darkest time of my life.
As I was traveling to help out my grandmother in a time of need, I stopped at a rest stop and saw a tree stump. It had been cut pretty close to the ground. This image stung my heart because I felt that this was a picture of my spiritual life. I once thought myself a tree that was deeply rooted for God, but I realized that I had been cut down. I had been brought very low. I wasn’t what I thought I was.
I went up to the tree and examined it. In the middle of the stump grew a tiny green shoot. In my heart, I felt like God was saying that He had brought me low. He had cut me down, but He was beginning a new work and this work was like the little green shoot. This work would be done by Him and He would grow me by His grace to be an oak of righteousness that declared His glory and that others could come and take shade under. They could glorify God as this new tree would stand in the storms and not be easily shaken.
So 6 years later, I can say that God has begun and continues to work this into my life. If you have been brought low, do not despair. Turn to God and trust that He has brought you low for a reason. He can turn your mourning into dancing, and He can grow back any tree stronger than it was before. Always remember, He is God and He knows best.
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I’ve been there. But in the end I am grateful to God for leading me through a time of suffering. I feel humbled that he would take the time to work on me so closely. Thanks for your thoughts – it’s a blessing to read. I appreciate your blog!