Life was hard for Bunyan and life is hard for us today. I used to read about spiritual heroes who suffered greatly and think, “I’ve got it really good. Why do I struggle so much in following Jesus?”

As I’ve grown into an almost 35 year old, I realize that life is hard for us all. Whether we suffer from depression, loneliness, a broken heart, or unfulfilled dreams, we all need Jesus to fill our brokenness and embrace us in the midst of it.

The amazing thing is that the call of the gospel is not “come after you fix yourself up”, but rather, “come just as you are.” I often say that the Christian life isn’t hard, it’s impossible. God made it this way so that we would never be able to live it in our own strength.

The following quotation from John Bunyan is spoken from the perspective of Jesus. As you read it, remember that Jesus never calls us to something that He won’t empower us to do. The difficulty of following Jesus should constantly remind us that we NEED HIM – ALWAYS!!! (John 15:5).

Following of me is not like following of some other masters. The wind sits always on my face and the foaming rage of the sea of this world, and the proud and lofty waves thereof do continually beat upon the sides of the bark or ship that myself, my cause, and my followers are in; he therefore that will not run hazards, and that is afraid to venture a drowning, let him not set foot into this vessel.

What does this quotation spark in you?

There are many people in the contemplative camp I cherish and others who I think are dangerous.  So maybe we need to create a new term after all. The Christian life is not just having a quiet time and then walking through the day doing your best. This is not the gospel message. We must continually be reminded throughout the day that we can’t, but He can. We must remember that the fruit of the Spirit is something that only the Spirit can produce. Many of us live with spiritual hernias trying to produce something in our own strength when the words of Jesus are clear, “apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). So with that preface, here are some reasons I need contemplative spirituality…

Reason 1: I don’t naturally have soul rest.

Most days it seems like a mini-wind is blowing through my soul. Often, the winds increase and hit hurricane force. I’ve heard it said that we often revert to a worried and hurried pace when this happens. By stopping and meditating on the truths of Scripture throughout the day, I can remember – Who God is, what He’s done, what He is doing, and what He promises to do. This fosters soul rest in me and it is a daily, moment by moment need.  This might be simply taking a 5 minute walk and rehearsing Scripture in my heart and asking for help, but this simple act humbles me and reminds me of my need of God’s grace.

Reason 2: I am very forgetful.

I am forgetful. I forget where my keys are if I don’t put them in a certain place. I forget who I am in Christ and so easily merge back into my youthful ways of thinking. I need to be reminded everyday. I need to be gospeled everyday. I am finding Peter Scazzero’s The Daily Office helpful as an additional tool to point me to my Heavenly Father several times throughout the day.

Reason 3: If I don’t, I will crash and burn.

One writer called compulsion, “a blasphemous anxiety to do God’s work for him.” I have this anxiety often. I now believe that these feelings themselves surfacing are not sin, but rather, what I do with them can either be sinful or godly. If they only drive me to be busier, I will crash and burn. If they are a reminder of my desperate need for God, then they are a gift. What are some tools that help point you to Christ?

What promises are you resting in today? A famous pastor said that he searches the Bible each day for one nugget of truth to carry with him throughout the day. Whether it is something about the love of God or a particular promise that will be fulfilled in heaven, the beauty and depth of these promises and truths will never be exhausted.

At times in my life, I have said things in my heart like, “I know about God’s love”, or “I know about being saved by grace.” These statements are simple evidences that I wasn’t getting it at all.

The depths of God’s love are deeper than any ocean, wider than the galaxies, and as unfathomable as the mathematical languages of the universe. Even so, a simple child can know love. So we start simple and slowly move into the depths. We should all be moving towards the deep end of the pool by now.

So if you find yourself feeling like you know it all and you like you are only catching repeats from Scripture, try reading on your knees. Pray a simple and honest prayer to God and ask Him to help you see more. Ask Him to open the eyes of your heart to see more truth and to love Him more. Because in the end, if these promises don’t warm our hearts to love God and others with a love that can only come from God, they are not doing what God intended them to do.

So where do you take your questions when you doubt? Do you let them swirl in your head and try to figure out everything on your own? Do you go to the internet and look for answers from random sites?

We must develop a culture of being able to openly discuss our doubts and fears with our brothers and sisters in Christ. This is one thing I love about my church body, Sojourn Community Church. Somehow, a community of open discussion has been fostered over the years. I get to grapple with questions from people that are open, honest and revealing.

But where do I go as a pastor when I am struggling with doubt and questions? By God’s grace, I have a few places. Ultimately, when the doubts and questions rage, God has given me an open door to come and sit with Him and pour my heart out to Him. This is the first place I should go though it is often the last. God has given me other means of grace to lean on in troubling times.

I have my triad. Scott Holman, Chris Davis and I meet and listen to each others hearts. We ask probing questions and it is a place where we can be honest to the point that I have rarely known. I also have some other Christian friends in other states that have journeyed longer than me and have more grounding in the Gospel. I also have an amazing wife who always accepts me as I am. Ultimately, I know that I cannot bear the weight alone so I run for help.

Don’t suffer in silence alone. Run to God and then go to those people in your life that God has provided. Be honest and be humble in receiving counsel and prayer. If you don’t have people in your life, ask God to provide and I have full confidence that He will. It might not look like you expect, but it will be for your good. Don’t fear your doubts, but do take them to the right place.

For more information about Amy Carmichael’s life, check out A Chance to Die: The Life and Legacy of Amy Carmichael by Elisabeth Elliot.

So baby Thomas is not sleeping really well these days because of teething or some other law of babyness night patterns, so that means Ginger and me are not sleeping well either. That boy has some lungs and can cry with the best of them.

So with sleep deprivation often comes a funk. I’m in a funk. It is hard to get motivated to work hard at work and work hard at home and then sleep a bit to go work hard at work and then come work hard at home. In the midst of the cycle, my feelings are all jacked up. I don’t feel much like I’m very effective at life in general and I don’t really “feel” anything from God. But I’m glad my faith is not based on feelings.

Don’t get me wrong, the two can be intimately combined and a life without ever “feeling” at all is a pretty sad life. But, when we walk through the valley or enter a funk, the same truths that rule the universe are as true as when I feel the presence of God as close as my babies breath on my cheek. Romans 8:28-29 and 38-39 are still true if I feel like a loser or if I feel like a success.

So… with all that said, stand on the promises of Scripture and if you see me with eyes closed in my office, I am probably just praying… (in my sleep that is.)

But as I listen and read about this man’s life, his main desire was to show the faithfulness and majesty of God. Those whom we would call “super-saints” would be horrified to hear such a title. They would be quick to proclaim that they are not super, but that God is more powerful, awesome, lovely, caring, intimate, etc… than we can ever dream or imagine.

Do we dare take God at His Word? Do we dare trust His hand and not the riches of this world? Take the long view brothers and sisters! It may seem that we are throwing away our money, time and very life to the world, but we are trading the temporary for the eternal! Mueller knew this full well.

The ironic thing is that we actually find life when we give our life away. By trading these worldly accolades and treasures in for God’s glory to be known, we gain joy indescribable. This takes place as we shine like lights to a darkened world and they see something that cannot be explained.
This directly shines the spotlight on our God and His sufficiency.

Take some time today and ask yourself “What things am I really putting my trust in?” “What things am I not willing to part with?” Then get before the Lord and ask Him to be your sufficiency. It is then that we don’t need to struggle for more faith. We need to struggle to rest and see who God really is. For when we get a better view of God and His glory, our faith is soon to increase. It is all about Him. We must decrease and He must increase.

It is O.K. to enter a spiritual fog because we know what we believe. The truth remains whether or not we feel it. It must be grounded in our lives so that we can battle to believe when the darkness comes. We need friends and loved ones to preach the gospel to us each day because we’ll forget the awesome, life-giving truths of it before we go to bed.

So are you in a spiritual fog? I am currently. Even so, I read a quotation from Streams in the Desert that encouraged the socks off of me yesterday. It follows: “We do not see… We are not able to discover any beauty, any possible good in our experience. Yet if we are faithful and fail not and faint not, we shall some day know the most exquisite work of all our life was done in those days when it was so dark.” J.R. Miller

Dear brother or sister, be faithful during these days. Reach out for help and cry out to God to help you believe. The hope of Christ will be an anchor for your soul when days seem darkest. And when you least expect it, the noonday will shine forth gloriously bright and God will show you what He did to glorify Himself in these dark days. It might be in the next life, but it will be worth every tear and heartache.

Journey on Christian and remember that He is leading you further on…

Note: One of the most helpful books I own is a little devotional book called Streams in the Desert compiled by Mrs. Chas E. Cowman. It’s contents contain jewels from Charles Spurgeon, George Mueller and many other heroes of the faith. The entire theme woven throughout is God’s redemptive work in suffering. It has been a friend to me many a lonely night.